Fantasy Baseball: “Mass Effect” Edition

Postseason baseball is here! I don’t know how many of you know this, but I am a baseball fan. I used to be even more into it than I am now, but I still go to a few games every season, and I’m really excited that my team just won the National League Wild Card game.

With the World Series on the way, lately I’ve been daydreaming about what a Mass Effect baseball team would look like. It’s like fantasy baseball taken to the nerdiest possible extremes!

Here’s how I would position some of my favorite Mass Effect characters out on the diamond…

Starting Pitchers:

My first choice for a starting pitcher would have to be Samara. She’s almost 1,000 years old, and as an asari Justicar, she has good judgement to make the right calls when she’s pitching. (Let’s hope she’s been playing baseball all that time too — so she’s had time to get really good.) She’s also a maternal figure in my opinion, which would make her a great leader out there. Her quiet wisdom would make her interesting to watch as a pitcher, and I’m sure she’d be well-respected by the team and the fans.

The other choice is obvious for me: that’s Commander Shepard herself (or himself). A natural leader, I think her position would be exciting whether she’s a Paragon who wants to throw true or a Renegade who occasionally plays dirty. She’ll make news and win games either way, and I can totally see the crowd standing to applaud her every time she leaves the field!

Closers:

If you don’t follow baseball, starting pitchers open a game and play for most of it, while closers are the pitchers who take over for them late in the game. A closer’s job is to shut down the other team in those last innings, so it’s important they don’t give an inch!

Thane would be my first choice for a closing pitcher. He has a quiet focus that would make him terrifying to the opposing team. I mean, he’s a drell assassin! I’d love to see his accuracy out there.

Catcher:

Liara would make an amazing catcher, because she has the ability to read people in a way nobody else does. She has a great balance of intellect and emotion that would help her stay in tune with the pitcher during a game — not to mention make great calls for what pitches should be thrown. She could also act as a leader, reading the field to help everyone work together out there.

First Baseman:

Since a first baseman needs to be very alert to catch the ball and tag the base before the runner does, I picture Jack in this role. She’s tough and quick on her feet, which makes her an excellent choice for this challenging role. The whole team depends on her ensuring nobody makes it to first! She’s aggressive enough, all right.

Second Baseman:

For second base, I’m going with Legion. A second baseman needs good range, but more than that, I think Legion has a great way of assessing the field and making accurate calls. Considering he’s not just singular, he’s a plural (you know about the geth, right?), he’d be a great team player.

Third Baseman:

I’m putting Kaidan Alenko at third base. He’s got his act together, which would make him great out there putting a stop to runners who are getting ready to go home. A strong arm to throw to first, plus the loyalty to keep an eye on home and help the catcher, are just the things for him.

Shortstop:

A shortstop is out there with the basemen, but he needs to be agile enough to grab infield balls and possess a strong arm to throw to first base, fast! I’d say this mix of talents is perfect for Tali. She’d be adorable running around out there, making crazy catches and whooping in excitement when she succeeds. Does Tali whoop? I can picture it.

Left Fielder:

I’m putting Garrus Vakarian here, because he’s like a superhero to me. It’s why outfielders are my favorite players in baseball. You think a ball is going to make it out of the stadium — the opposing team getting a homerun? Don’t worry, it’s almost a homerun but the outfielders are gonna catch it. That’s what Garrus could do.

Plus, he’s a sniper, right? He has the eyesight to make calls from afar and the accuracy to catch a ball anywhere on the field.

Center Fielder:

Mordin would be awesome in the outfield. He might be a little over-the-top at times, but hey, he talks fast and never lets up. And can you imagine the funny things he’d say (or the songs he’d sing) every time he makes a stellar catch?

Right Fielder:

And for right field, I’ll place EDI. Considering she’s an artificial intelligence, she probably has the right special abilities — AI must have perfect vision, right? — to make amazing catches out there.

Designated Hitter:

So my team is in the National League, but even so, I’m going to go along with the “designated hitter” rule for this one! In the American League, the pitcher doesn’t go up to bat, so a designated hitter takes his place. And who better to just go out and hit a big old homer than Wrex? He’s big, strong — and who cares if he’s not the fastest runner out there? Once the ball’s out of there, he can take his time taking the bases!

 

Who would your video game character picks be for a baseball team — or any other sports team for that matter? I totally want to dream up some more of these now. If only I could create fan art of this! This is the best I could do for now but it was super fun so don’t laugh! =)

— Ashley